You Need to Leave. Now.

This first story takes place in early lockdown, when A, a young single woman who didn’t want to quarantine by herself, met a seemingly nice young man on Tinder that we’ll call B. A described B as a little flakey, but cute, so she was willing to give him a chance. They set a date to make gin and tonics at B’s apartment.

B’s nice and funny when they go to a local grocery store for the ingredients of a gin and tonic, which if you were wondering, is a combination of the alcohol gin, and tonic water. They drive back to B’s apartment, and A proceeds to drink a lot and have a very deep conversation about their anxieties at the state of the world. It was early Covid, they were both scared and lonely. A admits that she didn’t quite know how to be on a date either, and was surprised that she revealed so much. After a while, and a couple of “only okay” gin and tonics, A decided that she was going to make the moves on this guy.

So, she decided to put on a movie. In A’s current state, she thought the best movie to watch was the Safdie Brother’s Uncut Gems (2019). She did admit to me during the interview that this was probably the first mistake she made. Regardless, they did the same thing that many people have done before them. They watched twenty minutes of a movie, and then started kissing.

After they finished, B “jumped off” of A, and bolted to his apartment’s bathroom. A was a little disappointed that B doesn’t want to cuddle with her. She is left in the bed, in a pile of sweaty sheets. She grabs her phone to text her best friend.

A is surprised. She’s floored. She’s in somebody’s bed, naked, and that somebody is standing over her telling her to get out of his apartment. It is very difficult to be rejected while your tits are out. B explains that the whole time, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about his ex-girlfriend. He just texted her, and she’s on her way to his apartment. I think he needed time to change his sheets or something. A is shocked, because she was still hoping that they would cuddle. A tries not to cry as she gets dressed and gathers her stuff, with B standing over her, trying to be polite, but also clearly rushing her.

A manages to get into her car before she starts crying. She manages to drive to her friend’s apartment, get out of her car, walk through the door, scream “I hate men” before she really starts sobbing.

A doesn’t hear from B for a long time. Until about four months ago, when he slid into her DMs on A and her current offline boyfriend’s anniversary. The girlies always win.